how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
