I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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