Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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