I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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