You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
