The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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