you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
