$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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