To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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