At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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