I wish you could order shots online.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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