Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
