I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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