sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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