It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
