Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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