There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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