I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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