I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
