her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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