I don't think brook has ever known best
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
