6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize