Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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