i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
