Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
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Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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