Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
