We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
