dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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