just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
