If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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