girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
