someone get that fucking seahorse.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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