do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
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My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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