we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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