She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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