i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
