I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
