Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
