So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
