well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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