D3 body, D1 cock
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
