somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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