Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
