like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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