There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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