Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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