Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
