fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
