Farmville is her only friend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
