they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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