Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You were trust falling into bushes
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
