im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize