i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
