I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
there is glitter all over my balls
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