Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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