I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
