That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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