Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
