i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
