evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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