Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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