If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
