I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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