In America we eat man semen.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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