she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
