Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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