38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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